


heavy rain

by sansuishi



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, At least implied?, Drabble, M/M, Sad theme with happy ending, Sibling Incest, Sick major character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-23
Updated: 2014-06-23
Packaged: 2018-02-05 21:12:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1832467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sansuishi/pseuds/sansuishi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Would you do something for me now, if I asked you?"</p><p>Thor nodded instantly and Loki smiled.</p>
            </blockquote>





	heavy rain

**Author's Note:**

> For my princess.

The white room was silent, the window closed and a storm raging outside. Fat and cold droplets of water hitting the window, the sound of the machines beeping and the shoes of the nurses against the perfectly polished floor produced a sad music that Thor was unfortunately used to. His brother had been in the hospital for months now. 

Loki was upon the bed, asleep, the big and beeping machines surrounding him, plugged to his delicate arms and to his chest. His head was softly rested upon the pillow, a dark blue bandana covering his head completely. Thor watched his chest rising and falling, his eyes closed and lips parted softly. He was seventeen, much of his child like softness had vanished, leaving sharp bones and a perfect smile in their place. Still, when asleep, Loki looked angelic, as he did when younger and the thought made Thor smile alone. 

A nurse came through the sliding door with a tray, Loki's lunch and medicine. She placed it in front of the bed, in a white table where Loki had placed his books. He had not stopped studying, even with all the difficulties, and even if it was perfectly acceptable if he chose to interrupt his studies until he was better. Loki claimed that he did not want to interrupt every aspect of his life or he would feel as he was already dead. And when he said that, Frigga would shot him a reprehensible look, making him smile. 

After a moment staring at the rain falling outside, the sky gray and heavy telling him the rain would not stop so soon, Thor heard a soft ruffling of sheets and turned to see Loki's eyes open, looking at him with a soft smile. "Hey." Thor murmured and walked to Loki's side, running a hand through his head, as gentle as a caress. "Did the rain wake you up?"

Loki shook his head, blinking slowly and raising one hand to hold his brother's, warm and tanned, deeply contrasting to his bony, pale one. He was sort of used to feel weakened but today was worse. After sleeping through good part of the day, Loki still felt tired, his bones aching idly and his eyes heaving again. While he held one of Thor's hands, the other moved up, back to cup the base of his skull. He leaned into the touch. 

For a long moment, they were silent, the rain outside increasing and the tapping in the window becoming slightly louder. Thunder cracked the sky and Loki parted his lips, the name of his brother coming out as a soft rumble, a small thunder as Thor's name sounded. He received a smile and a gentle squeeze in his hand as answer, silence still reigning over them though not uncomfortable. Gentle, rather. Calm. 

"Would you do something for me now, if I asked you?"

Thor nodded instantly and Loki smiled. He wished he could stand up and hug his brother, a full body hug, press himself to Thor's chest, his hips, rest against his shoulder and have his brother's strong hands running up and down his back, soothingly. All he got for a while now was Thor bending down over the bed to hold him with an exaggerated care, as if Loki would crumble in his arms if he dared to hug him tighter. 

Although he was dwelling with the request for a while, Loki decided it was time to ask. He and Thor had no secrets with one another and they fought as brothers always do. Their relation was good and Loki, as the youngest, had nothing to complain of his big brother. Thor was a good son, a good brother and even if they disagreed sometimes, Loki thought -slightly upset for realizing it now- that Thor was the only person he could trust completely. He loved his parents, of course, but it just wasn't the same. With Thor, he knew he could open himself completely, tell him his worries and share with him his joys and experiences. 

Besides, he felt particularly bad today. If he did not ask now, perhaps there would not be another chance. 

"I want you to kiss me." Loki whispered, a rumble of thunder crashing distantly and Thor's brow furrowing slightly, only until the machine monitoring Loki's heart frequency beeped more rapidly. Then, his jaw opened and his face paled. Well, he had been expecting something like this. They were close, they trusted each other and obviously loved each other but... Never like this. Although Loki did not avert his gaze nor made any sign that he said what he said for fun, he was nervous, tremendously so and Thor looked at their hands, linked. 

Both were shaking. 

"Why?" Thor murmured vaguely, sounding confused rather than shocked or disgusted. 

"Because I don't want to die without being-"

"You're not dying, Loki." Thor released his brother's hand and Loki bit his lip at the slightly rise of Thor's voice. "I'm sorry." He added soon enough, standing in front of the bed, looking at the fragile image of Loki, plugged to big machines, small and weak, his jade eyes bright in the colorless room. "You're not dying. You're handling the cancer well, the doctors said you'll be out in a couple of months if you keep fighting. And then you'll have plenty of gir- Of people to kiss you."

Loki lowered his gaze, at last. He felt horribly weak, wrong in all ways but he could not convince himself he didn't really want it. That he wasn't really considering to ask his brother to kiss him for the last... Months. "I don't trust plenty of people. I never did and it chemo can't fix that."

Silence returned. Thor was chewing on his lip and Loki was trying to think of a way to undo what his question had done, twist the comfortable silence into a near torture. The sound of the rain was unbearable and Loki pulled the sensor from his finger, making the machine fling a constant, annoying beep. The nurse came and Loki said the monitor sounds were giving him a headache. Luckily, she did not insist he should keep it on.

Thor was the one to break the silence, several minutes after the nurse left. He approached his brother again, taking his hands gently and sitting at the edge of the bed. "Loki, I- Didn't mean to make you sad. You're just thinking of bad things, you're going through a lot and it is normal. Just- Don't say that. You're /not/ dying."

"Be explicit, Thor. Tell me a real no, don't psychotherapy me." Loki looked up, eyes bright and voice heavy. Thor ran a hand through his face, meeting his brother's gaze briefly before he dropped it again. "Just forget what I said. I shouldn't have asked you anything, let alone this. Forget it, okay?" Loki attempted to flip to his side and go back to sleep but Thor's hands were firm in his wrist. He had never seen those blue eyes look so empty, so lost. Ever since he could remember, Thor was the solid, the staid, the sane. 

"I am not... Telling you no. I don't want you to say that aloud." His voice cracked only slightly and Loki was instantly glad the nurse removed the sensor from his finger. His heart was wild in his chest. "Don't you ever say that to me again, did you hear me?" Loki nodded, the roles changed and the nervousness mixed with confusion gripping him instead of Thor. He leaned back against the bed and sighed. 

Thor rose as slowly as he could from the bed, bright blue and deep green magnetized, hand to hand. For the first time since he had woken up, Loki did not hear the rain over his heartbeat, did not see the white room over Thor's eyes, did not feel so weak over the warm hands holding his. 

Over the soft lips and the slight scratch of beard when Thor kissed him. 

His mind was blank. He felt tense and could feel Thor tense too but they did not pull away instantly as Loki thought they would. Thor's hand pried from his and cupped his cheek instead, both allowing the kiss to advance with a supernatural synchrony. Their tongues slid together slowly, each passing second making Thor relax and Loki's lungs ask for oxygen. It parted once Loki pressed Thor's neck closer and Thor realized he was almost climbing in the bed.

Now, adding to the rain, there was the music of heavy breaths, of slick and short kisses. Loki opened his eyes and saw Thor's, once more calm. He smiled and hugged his brother, tucking his face into the crook of Thor's neck, breathing his perfume in. It made him feel less inside the white room and more back at home, sleeping in Thor's bed because his room was too cold. "Thank you." He whispered. Thor pulled away and kissed his forehead. 

His brother handed him the tray with his meal and Loki ate all of it, listening as Thor spoke of something their dog had done and about the neighbors fighting at three am. They laughed and Loki did not feel so weak anymore. The sky was still deeply gray, the heavy rain still pouring and he was still in a hospital but life didn't feel so bad at this moment. He wasn't stuck and he wasn't alone. 

Maybe he would not die just yet.

**Author's Note:**

> Whew, it's been a long time I don't do anything for the fandom. Actually it's been a long time I don't do anything for any fandom because school has been slaving me. This came to my mind while I was at the subway and I was listening to a really pretty song that makes me sad, so I started to imagine sad headcanons and here we are. In case anyone is interested, the song is Illgresi, by Sigur Rós. [author recommends to read while playing the song 11/10]
> 
> But oh well, I've written bigger and sadder dramas. Maybe my girlfriend won't say I'm cruel after this. ; u ;
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
